Sam, the steroid man.
See this guy, don’t be deceived by his charming eyes or cute undergrown mohawk. Deep down he’s got a secret. An obvious secret, but one not noticed too often. I have of course a cunning mind and a keen sense of perception, and discovered his secret within a few short days. So I, being my brothers keeper, confronted him immediately. I told him my discovery and demanded he admit in front of all my cabin. But as it always has been with everyone with the same secret they deny it up and down and all around…he proved no different. He smiled calmly and with the utmost confidence said “no, I haven’t ever taken steroids”. What a LIAR. I could tell he spent many hours in front on the mirror repeating that line, over and over again till he got it down pat. So for the rest of Wordstock I wracked my brain for ways to trick him into confessing. I even asked him in his sleep, but I guess he's not much of a sleep talker, or he anticipated that as well(what a thinker) I also interrogated his family. They all denied it. Either they were in on it too, or he has very effective scare tactics. I think it’s the fear factor. For all my efforts I got nowhere, everyone I asked denied it. I couldn’t find any evidence, except for some hemorrhoid cream, and that he sleeps without a pillow. But, I did find out that he’s severely affected by energy drinks. Which in “How to find out if your friends are taking steroids, for dummies” is number one on the list of symptoms of od’ing on steroids. So now you know, what are you going to do with that information? I know what im going to do. Pray for release from his unhealthy addiction through the power of the Keys.

From Jason with Love

and to sam, you're exposed, stop injecting yourself with that junk